How to Rule the World

From the desk of King Otto, the God Blessed King of the Lands and Couches of the Kingdom Wood.

King Otto’s coronation. 

Cuteness is a powerful tool.

Don’t let it fool you, I am not just a pretty face. However, I do know how to charm the people when I need that last piece of cheese stick or another scoop of cat food.

Cute works!

Better to be loved, than feared.

My brother, High King Ace, subscribes to the philosophy that it is better to be feared than loved. However, I have made some powerful friends in my sisters. When the High King picks on me, my loyal sisters protect me. When I pick on my brother, he is on his own because they are too afraid to be near him.

A cuddle with Elsie.

I also let Mum and Dad in on the love sometimes, just to ensure my followers are loyal. By allowing my chefs, chambermaid, and privy boy spend one on one time with me, I have ensured they will feel special, cared for, and an emotional connection with their ruler that keeps my kingdom in order.

Sometimes you must make a show of power.

Do not do this so much as to become a tyrant. However, it is necessary to rule with a strong hand so that chaos and anarchy do not destroy your lands.

I am King, hear me rawr!

One show of power that I am quite fond of doing is sticking my paws into a freshly poured glass of water. My mum and dad do not like enjoy my litter box flavoured, pollen enhanced, cat washed paws in their iced cup of crisp, mountain water. So when they have become too dog-centred or a little too relaxed in their serving of their King, I dip a paw in a full glass. Sometimes I will go so far as to put both paws in and dig for ice cubes..

Take this Mum!


Stay ahead of your mass by accumulating knowledge. Reading strengthens those brain muscles and allows you to be sharper than those that serve you. And by staying a step ahead, you can stomp out riots and unrest before they occur.

This is my book.

Enjoy the finer things in life.

Take a nap in the sunshine. Go for a walk in the woods. Eat that ‘guilty’ snack. We only go around once, enjoy the ride – within reason.

These are my tips for the inner ruler in you. Hope it helps you conquer another day and rule your kingdom with peace and harmony.