Why I am late to work today.

After breakfast and a shower, I had some time so I sat on the deck with all of the furry family. The swing on our deck is shaded from the morning sun by a very big something tree. The breeze was just light enough to prevent the summer morning from being stuffy and kept the deck at the perfect relaxation for me and the furries.


Ace was lounging on a hand-me-down table surveying his lands. Two chairs from the hand-me-down set protected him from Elsie’s curious muzzle. Maggie laid next to me in the swing and pondered at the leaves lazily dancing in the light breeze. Elsie was filled with too much energy to sit still for a second. She watched the cats with the determined eye of a scientist hungry for knowledge and understanding. Otto climbed the something tree. As he climbed higher, he would test each branch tentatively to ensure his footing.

As I ruminated on the peace of the morning and the pointlessness of leaving for work, a humming sounded from the tree. Four set of furry ears perked up. Ace landed on the deck with a heavy THUD! He slinked off the deck. A horsefly could be seen for a moment between these two small panthers. The tree erupted into chaos as the early morning hunt and murder took place.

Simultaneously, the peace on the deck was shattered by the stomping of a fifty-pound observer wished to become part of the action. My seat on the swing is set into motion when Maggie pushed off it to join the drama as well.

I found that I couldn’t stop smiling. The peace of the morning was cut off suddenly and very completely in one moment by the dark humour of nature. Yet, I wanted more moments like this to fill my life. I looked at my phone and realised I was running late.

It was worth it.



Otto and the Importance of going Outside

From the Desk of King Otto:

I spend my days outside. Not only is it an easy way to stay in shape, but I am able to explore my kingdom, protect it from other felines, and grab nice lunch of skink and insects. There is so much more to be gained from being outside than these tasks, something fundamental and essential to life in the communing with nature.

As a house kitty, I am cuddly and loving. I even find that sometimes I reduce myself to responding to human commands when cheese is present. After a couple days inside, I am likely to loose my identity as a cat. I am a hunter, a predator, a KING after all. Not some simpleton begger, reliant on tricks to impress the human into feeding me. When I am outisde, I find the hunter within me and let him free to prowl, capture, and sometimes play with the creatures that trespass into my kingdom.

Staying fit is all good, but strength requires flexibility. I have tried to find a way to stretch and limber up inside to no avail. In the garden, there are trees to climb. After every climb, I feel more flexible and lithe. Being light on my feet is the only to creep around the big bears when they nap in the house to steal their water and their treats. Remember: A tree a day keeps the stiffness away.

A day outside revives the spirit and reminds you of who you truly are, this cannot be reiterated enough. If you are unable to spend a day outside, perhaps you can talk your humans on letting you go for a walk. I do appreciate a trip to the mountain, even if it requires a harness.


Ace, the food addict

Our big ole boy, Acer. Despite reducing his food intake, Ace has gotten bigger and bigger. Yesterday, I found out why. I like to think the below picture is Ace’s shame of being seen at his rock bottom. Ace has eaten breakfast but it is too early for dinner when I discover what has caused this seemingly impossible phenomenon.

Yesterday, an unscheduled thunderstorm rocked our neighbourhood. I rushed home from work to let the cats inside. Once inside, Ace was convinced it was dinner time rather than three hours prior to dinner time. He yelled at me for a while before giving up on me serving food on his schedule. He sat in the office that doubles as the cat dining area and he pouted.

I turned my attention to my work. A clicking sound stirs my attention from the computer screen to the fifteen-pound cat trying to sneak from the office across the kitchen. There are few sounds that give away a cat as well as their nails clicking on the tile. Even the dogs have been awoken by the “tick, click, tick” of his steps. He gives the puppy (Elsie) wide berth and steps quietly and quickly, assuming we do not see him. Silently, we all watch him.

He hops by Elsie’s face and next to where I am seated at the writing desk and lands on the dog food table. (A low table long enough to hold two dog food bowls and one gigantic water bowl and, apparently, a determined fat cat.) He begins to eat and eat.

I call him away. Spray him with water as punishment for such awful behaviour. He sulks off. He returns and is scolded three more times.

Finally, he is found ashamed of his behaviour this morning.

Anyone know of an Eater Anonymous for cats?


Note: Given cat food has much more protein and fewer vegetables than dog food, we believe he is gaining weight because he isn’t supposed to process all the extra veggies and such. 

How to Rule the World

From the desk of King Otto, the God Blessed King of the Lands and Couches of the Kingdom Wood.

King Otto’s coronation. 

Cuteness is a powerful tool.

Don’t let it fool you, I am not just a pretty face. However, I do know how to charm the people when I need that last piece of cheese stick or another scoop of cat food.

Cute works!

Better to be loved, than feared.

My brother, High King Ace, subscribes to the philosophy that it is better to be feared than loved. However, I have made some powerful friends in my sisters. When the High King picks on me, my loyal sisters protect me. When I pick on my brother, he is on his own because they are too afraid to be near him.

A cuddle with Elsie.

I also let Mum and Dad in on the love sometimes, just to ensure my followers are loyal. By allowing my chefs, chambermaid, and privy boy spend one on one time with me, I have ensured they will feel special, cared for, and an emotional connection with their ruler that keeps my kingdom in order.

Sometimes you must make a show of power.

Do not do this so much as to become a tyrant. However, it is necessary to rule with a strong hand so that chaos and anarchy do not destroy your lands.

I am King, hear me rawr!

One show of power that I am quite fond of doing is sticking my paws into a freshly poured glass of water. My mum and dad do not like enjoy my litter box flavoured, pollen enhanced, cat washed paws in their iced cup of crisp, mountain water. So when they have become too dog-centred or a little too relaxed in their serving of their King, I dip a paw in a full glass. Sometimes I will go so far as to put both paws in and dig for ice cubes..

Take this Mum!


Stay ahead of your mass by accumulating knowledge. Reading strengthens those brain muscles and allows you to be sharper than those that serve you. And by staying a step ahead, you can stomp out riots and unrest before they occur.

This is my book.

Enjoy the finer things in life.

Take a nap in the sunshine. Go for a walk in the woods. Eat that ‘guilty’ snack. We only go around once, enjoy the ride – within reason.

These are my tips for the inner ruler in you. Hope it helps you conquer another day and rule your kingdom with peace and harmony.